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Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. So, you see, getting older is a public service. — Lori Levesque

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Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it. — Unknown

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If at first you don t succeed, skydiving is not for you. — Steven Wright

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Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? — Robin Williams

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You know you re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. — Bob Hope

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The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. — Will Rogers

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I m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. — Unknown

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. — Steven Wright

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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. — Unknown

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Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. — Franklin P. Jones

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